What are you afraid of?

    Guess I never felt so scared as I felt today.
    I was in one kind of  "blind date". I just met this guy today and then he called me to go outside. I was really afraid, nervous, but I said yes.
    He said: Meet me in front of the church at eight o'clock.
    I went. There were a lot of guys there, really handsome guys, I should say. All shirtless. I was going crazy, they were looking at me, but none of them took the cell phone to call me, so I felt miserable. Maybe he saw me and thought I was really ugly and ran away.
    The bad thing is that now I wish I was there, with him. I told my parents that I was going to a birthday party... What they didn't know is that I was going to blow the candle... This is the sad part, all this lying thing.
    I just feel like as was a pretty little liar. Living in a world of lies and more lies.
    The clock shows 22:14... I'm still scared. I feel like my mobile would ring any moment. He got my name, my email... Maybe he hates me right now and wants to play Finn Hudson taking me off the closet. I saw his orkut and he knows many people that I do know... Isn't it scary? Well, I'm not an out gay...
    We all know how dangerous the world is. Specialy if you are gay. I thought he was the member of a skin head group and was trying to kill me. I already saw the newspaper in my mind, and I was dead. Police was looking into my computer files to find something about the murderer.
    Well, I send an email to a friend of mine talking about everything.
    I was in front of the church and then a ran away... I don't want to think that it was a chance in a life time. I leave it to God, even though he is really lazy when it comes to my life... I mean, come on. I'm 21 and I am virgin... all virgin... I don't want a white coffin...

    Please tell me all the mistakes... I'm just learning English and I think it would help me to learn even more...